Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
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