I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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