he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
