oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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