I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
