I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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