we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
