In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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