dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
