The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
