remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
