How'd it feel making her break her religion?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
