Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Randomize
