Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
