I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
