I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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