READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
