Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
