she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
