shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
