I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
