my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
