So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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