If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
The convent might be a nice break from real life
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
