i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
