Can Purell be used as lube?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
