what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Randomize
