so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
