and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
