I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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