If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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