sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
