Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
