I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
