Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize