The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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