I feel great
I just peed on a car
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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