hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
