I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
