Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
