never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
