dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
no, he came in my armpit
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
