he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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