Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
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