my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
