Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
