i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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