Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
