I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
