i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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