Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
