It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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