Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
