grandma shit on top of the toilet
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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