I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
