I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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