There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
