I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
