So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
