NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
